Saturday, November 17, 2012

Ain't celebrating hetero marriage

Much as I am happy for my heterosexual friends when they get married, I feel increasing uncomfortable participating in hetero wedding celebrations. There's something almost obscene  in my celebrating an institution that excludes me. I understand it is not my friends' fault, and they certainly played no personal part in barring gays from marriage in Hong Kong. My discomfort is not based on resentment, but a deeply felt sense of injustice. An analogy would be: Would I visit South Africa as a tourist in the age of Apartheid? Would I bring my black friend? Probably not.

The comparison can be pushed further. Just as the relative prosperity of whites in Apartheid South Africa is built upon oppression of blacks, heterosexual hegemony is dependent upon marginalizing homosexuality and other forms of aberrant sexual expressions. Marriage is seen as the epitome of heterosexual relationships, which sets up a norm against which all other relationships are measured, and found wanting. With circular reasoning, heteros claim that monogamy, reproduction and nuclear family are right because they happen to practice them. Gays should not participate in marriage because they are by nature promiscuous and barren.

As they say in the song below, "Freedom is a privilege, nobody rides for free." Straights have been riding for free for far too long.